I am unapologetic-ally just ME, but that's probably not enough to go on, so I'll start with one of the roles I play, and the one that brings you to my website. I am a life coach, and a perfectly imperfect one at that. I basically help people figure out how to balance life, love themselves completely and unlock the blocks that stop them from living to their fullest. I do this all while continuing to grow and love myself as well, and believe me, that's a never-ending process.
I started this part of my journey in 2012 after my husband of 22 years ripped our seemingly happy life apart and filed for divorce. It would end up being the best thing he ever did for me (short of our 3 beautiful children of course), but at the time it was UGLY! Our marriage had always been pretty dysfunctional, but from the outside, it looked fabulous. So, I totally know how to fake it, and make it. I was living a perfect life, until I wasn't; until the day my house of cards fell.
During our divorce, I lost what felt like everything - our family home; our business; and most of my life savings. However, what I found, was greater than all those replaceable material items. I found me! I broke free from living everyone else's life and I finally got to create my own life. I stopped the co-dependency, the enabling, the perfectionism, the soul sucking bitterness, the self-righteousness and even the people pleasing. I stopped being a mess, wrapped in a pretty dress.
I rebuilt, and in that rebuilding I unpacked a lot of crap. I discovered all the grief I had buried. An abortion at 18, my mom's suicide; a highly dysfunctional and toxic marriage, full of neglect and alcoholism, followed by a brutal divorce and, just when I thought I was done, I experienced a 3-year estrangement from my oldest daughter. That was the last straw. When that one hit, I was pretty sure I was toast. I was pretty sure that pain was going to be the end of me. Boy, was I wrong.
It was a turning point. Another one. Apparently God was far from done with me. So, I dug in, even harder this time. I felt that grief and in doing so, I unlocked the real me. Turns out grief, trauma and all those ugly feelings we have and then shame ourselves for, just want to be seen. They don't want to be buried. Once you see them; once you feel them; once you get dirty with them; once you slosh around in the mud with them; and once you finally have a complete breakdown with them, you can tell them to go. And they listen (most days).
During all these years of extreme growth, I decided I wanted to pick back up my RN role that I had put down for 12 years. I had set it down to help my husband run his dream business. Not wanting to return to floor work, I pursued my passion for holistic nursing instead. Preventing things is just a lot simpler than cleaning up a mess, which I've learned mostly the hard way. I also decided to become a life coach. I received my first credentials in 2013, but still being in the center of A LOT of inner turmoil and drama, I didn't fully throw myself into coaching until I returned to school in 2019. Now I'm officially a fancy pants certified Human Potential Life Coach.
So, what does all this mean and how can it help you? Well, I believe in balance. I believe we aren't just a body. Oh there's so much more to us than that. Most of us over identify with our body, spend way too much time stuck in our head, drown in our messy emotions and after all that, who has time for our spirit?! Four wheels (body, mind, emotions and spirit), just like a car, and when one gets flat, well we can still drive, but boy it's not a fun journey.
So, as I continue to learn and grow, I serve to teach and coach other beautiful souls just like you. I help people learn to love and accept themself. In the process, I tell you what worked for me, but also present other options to add to your tool box. We don't all fit in the same square peg, so what works for me, may not be your thing. Our goal is to dig deep within you and find what works best for YOU! You are the boss! In the process of embracing your wholeness and perfection, we unpack, we feel, we cry, we love, we forgive and we ultimately heal. It's a beautiful journey, and I'd be honored if you'd let me part of yours.Finding balance thru the Wheels of Life - My holistic approach
Healing is a journey, and very personal and individual for each one of us. I'm not the expert in how you heal, you are. I first off want you to realize that it's you who is in charge. This is your story. This is your life and it's time to take it back and make it what you want. It doesn't mean it's going to be rosey everyday, but it does mean that you will increase your resilience and bounce back so much quicker when things do happen. Your relationships will also improve, but even more importantly, you will learn to love yourself and find happiness. We have to unlearn so many things in the process, and retrain our bodies, but I did it, and if I can, so can you!
I approach healing using a very balanced approach, but uniquely. I didn't come up this idea. It's been around for awhile. I just approach it using a car instead, something familiar for all of us. We all know that if we get a flat tire, well, we have a problem. Most of us also know that it's not good to over-inflate any one wheel. To keep your tires and car running optimally, you want all your tires to have the right amount of air and be properly aligned. This applies to humans as well.
The first wheel of life we have is our mind.
It's also where we spend the most time. Our monkey mind is constantly reminding us of our past, our bleak future and chattering at us about who did what and how much you suck as a human being. We need to learn to quiet it, or let some air out.The second wheel is our body.
We don't listen to it's pain signals. We overfeed it, under-nourish it, deprive it of sleep and don't provide it enough activity. It has a lot to say, but we don't listen (until we have no choice). It's primal though. No one wants to spend time growing when you are starved, exhausted or in physical pain. We need to learn to recognize what our body needs and give it the attention it deserves.The 3rd wheel of life is our emotional wheel
. We don't know what to do with that one. We ignore it and escape from it's antics thru food, social media, addictions and so much more. We stuff, we eat, we distract and we don't regard those messy feelings as anything but a nuisance. Guess what? They aren't going away. If you don't deal with them, eventually they will build up and explode, and that flat tire can no longer be ignored. It's pretty simple. If you want to heal, you have to feel.The last wheel is often our most ignored also. Our spirit wheel.
So many of us are disconnected from our creator. Religion has left scars of inadequacy and judgement. I don't believe in religion. I believe in relationship, but I also believe that this is a very personal and individual journey for you. I only wish to help you reconnect and I hold no judgement in how you get there or what that looks like.